We Are All Living In Loss and Grief

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We Are All Living In Loss and Grief

As I sit with my clients I often hear “ I feel so heartbroken” or “ I feel out of sorts and I can’t explain it”, and as we talk more it becomes apparent that they are dealing with a loss and then experiencing grief from that loss. Often we think that grief and loss come only from the actual death of someone and forget that we experience all sorts of losses that we then grieve. I would like to look at how we all experience grief and loss in our lives on a regular basis and what that looks like and how we can manage it.

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How To Decrease Intense Panic, Anxiety, & Anger

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How To Decrease Intense Panic, Anxiety, & Anger

Lately I’ve been hearing many of my clients say that they know how to cope with emotions like anger and anxiety most of the time, but occasionally these feelings are so strong that they can’t think clearly enough to follow through on the things that usually work for them.  When anger, anxiety, and panic get too overwhelming, the part of our brain that problem solves and makes well informed choices doesn’t get as many of the resources it needs, making it harder to think clearly.  Instead, the emotional parts of the brain get those resources and we might start to feel physical signs of these emotions like, sweating, shallow breathing, crying, and nausea among other things.  We might even feel like we’re having a heart attack or dying.  When this happens, we sometimes get desperate to escape these unpleasant feelings and make choices that down the line can be dangerous or make our situation worse.  This is when we might self-harm, fight with someone we love, break things, or become aggressive.  When this happens, we have to find ways to trick our brain in to realizing that we’re safe so the intensity of these emotions decreases enough for us to think clearly and cope effectively.   The TIPP skill does this, and the best part about it is that it requires very little thinking and works super quickly. 

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What is DBT?

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What is DBT?

DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  Dialectic means two opposites can both be true.  For example, if a loved one did something that was hurtful to you, you can be angry with them, maybe even hate them, and still love them.  Balancing two things helps keep us from experiencing emotions in extremes.  Sometimes this is as simple as changing “OR” into “AND”. Instead of being happy OR sad, we can be happy AND sad.  It’s hard to stay calm when you’re thinking in extremes, and dialectics allow us to stay balanced by noticing two truths at once. 

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Improve Your Marriage : 3 Tips To Increase Closeness To Your Partner

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Improve Your Marriage : 3 Tips To Increase Closeness To Your Partner

What happens when your relationship stops being a priority? Most will speak to the difficulty of maintaining closeness in marriage or romantic relationships. We often find ourselves lost in the hustle and grind of our day to day lives. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with everyday stressors such as managing work projects, family tension, or even your child’s soccer practices! Slowly over time that spark begins to fade and those feelings of excitement are replaced with monotony and endless binging of our “favorite” series, leading to disconnection and apathy. I know many couples who find themselves struggling to feel connected or motivated to connect with their partners. How do we fix this? What can we do to remind each other of how important our relationship is? Well today I have a couple of tips that have helped couples to bring some connection and intimacy back into their relationship.

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