4 Valuable Lessons from the Holiday Movie "ELF"

My 2 year old daughter absolutely loves the opening credits to the movie Elf, released in 2003. (Side note – I can’t believe it’s that old already!) As I watch it with her, I realize how much I have learned from watching the movie (now for the likely 15th time). I believe there is always something to learn from what we see, hear, and read. So, I come to you today with four valuable lessons I gleaned from the film. 

(Warning : some spoilers ahead!)

1.     Having a sense of adventure and grit, and taking risks, makes life more rich and helps you discover who you really are.

In the first scene, the baby who is later named Buddy somehow makes it out of his crib and into Santa’s bag of gifts. This is how he finds his way to the North Pole where he is unofficially adopted and raised by the folks up there. He then decides he needs to go find his biological father, and ventures by himself to New York City to do so. Had he not decided to do both of those things, he may have had less of a sense of himself and the amazing feats he is capable of.

What would happen if you didn’t take the leap and accept a new position at work? You might never know you had a unique skill set you hadn’t discovered until it was required of you in your new role. What if you didn’t ask someone out on a date because you were sure they would reject you? If you never ask, you never give them a chance to say YES! Take risks. Prove to yourself that you are worthy of the benefits of doing so!

2.     Be exactly who you are and you will have more confidence in your relationships. 

For not one minute in the entire movie does Buddy try to be someone he isn’t. He expresses his emotions openly and freely and he doesn’t hide his natural cheer and excitement. Because Buddy doesn’t deviate from his true self, he can be confident that those who are in his life are there because they appreciate him unconditionally.

Often individuals who are not their true selves with others lack confidence, believing they aren’t interesting enough, attractive enough, or wealthy enough to deserve attention and care from others. If you are able to be brave enough to be vulnerable, and show who you truly are, others see that, and want to be vulnerable with you. THIS shared vulnerability is how you build relationships with depth and confidence.

3.     Enjoying seemingly insignificant experiences can help you become a joyful, more pleasant and positive person.

Buddy is enchanted by his friend Jovie’s singing voice, and tells her “You have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world.” He rides the revolving door at the Empire State Building over and over (to the point of vomiting) because it’s new and interesting. He gets a kick out of seeing a dog one day before meeting his brother at school. I notice that when Buddy points out things he enjoys that others take for granted, they shake their heads (as if to say, “oh boy, he is really weird and silly!”) but they also smile because they are envious of his childlike appreciation of something like Christmas lights, for example.

When was the last time you gave someone a compliment because you thought to yourself, “They have such a pretty smile!”? Not only does it feel good to give compliments, but it also (usually) puts a smile on someone else’s face. What about smiling when you put your feet into some fuzzy, warm socks, realizing that not everyone has socks like that?

4.     If you ever get put in a position of having to choose your family or your job, you won’t regret choosing your family.

Toward the end of this film, Buddy’s biological father is put in this very position – his boss essentially said ‘if you leave this meeting, you can kiss your job goodbye.’. Buddy’s dad chose to leave work and pursue the wellbeing of Buddy and his brother, Michael.

When you are faced with a decision of heart, consider what you might say on your death bed. I know it’s pretty morbid, but bear with me for a moment. Have you ever heard of someone on their death bed saying, “I wish I had worked more hours throughout my life”?  No! Absolutely not! At end of life, we think about the people in our live and the meaningful experiences we have had. Those often don’t intersect with employment. Consider what’s important!

If you’re having trouble seeing things clearly in your life and are just swirling around in overwhelm and exhaustion, give me a call, and we will get that all sorted out together. I would love to help you determine what’s most important to you and help your actions align with your priorities.

The mental health therapists at our office offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Request An Appointment here.