EMDR In Real Life

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In my first blog called EMDR 101, I talk about the basics of trauma and how EMDR functions to help resolve it. Next, I’d like to talk more personally about why I needed EMDR as a therapist, who I find can get benefit from it, and what to expect if you choose to pursue it with me.

When Talk Therapy isn’t Therapeutic 

When I started out in counseling, “trauma” was not the buzz word it is today. My focus was on the arsenal of interventions in my toolbox, and I was fairly confident that whatever my client brought to the table, we’d talk it through it, finding solutions together.  While this was a great fit for some, I was hitting a wall with others. 

My first experience was with a young woman with many layers of neglect and abuse beginning in infancy. At 23, she knew logically that the things she’d endured weren’t her fault, yet she carried immense shame to the point of attempted suicide. When she and I would talk about her life, she would fidget and “zone out”, often forgetting what we’d discussed seconds prior. Other times, she’d collapse into hysterical tears, unable to continue with the session. I was at a complete loss. What could I do to help her if we couldn’t even hold a conversation?

What I began to learn from this brave client was how interconnected the mind is with the body. Our minds may tell us one thing, but if we feel unsafe, ashamed, or fearful in our physical bodies, there will be disconnect and breakdown. The core message of trauma is that we are unsafe to exist in our own bodies. 

“Body Memory”

This example was the beginning of a long list of clients who came to me with stories of trauma that they couldn’t seem to resolve. Even though most could talk logically about their lives, there were debilitating emotions and panic responses that remained. My work began to be helping clients slowly open what we’d call their “window of tolerance”.  For some, this meant learning to breath deeply while staying in the room versus mentally leaving the session (what we call dissociating). For others, it meant learning to sit with feelings of panic while accepting that at that moment, they were safe in my office. I became aware of how big a role my clients’ physical bodies played in their ability to continue to process mentally. While building this tolerance was foundational for healing, there was still a piece missing. 

Unlocking Trauma—What to Expect

In addition to a greater feeling of safety in the body, I learned something very important: In order to release a traumatic memory, I needed a tool that unlocked the part of the brain that stored the memory to begin with. Where talk therapy failed me, EMDR proved key. In a typical EMDR session, I will ask a client to identify the memory that most clearly defines their current dysfunction or negative belief. Once a “snapshot” of the memory is captured, I’ll ask them to identify feelings, emotional and physical, that bring the experience to the forefront. This helps target and activate the part of the brain that stores the trauma. Next, I’ll ask the client to focus on these feelings, snapshot in mind, and follow my fingers with their eyes. There is no verbal processing necessary by me or the client. After each short pass, or eye movements, (typically 20-40 seconds) I’ll pause and ask what the client noticed. Most find that while focusing on the memory is scary and difficult, they are able to move fairly quickly to the other side of it. In the safety of my office, the brain does the work it couldn’t do when the original event occurred. Simple but powerful messages are received: “It wasn’t my fault.” “I am lovable.” “I did everything I could do.” The memory is released to be reprocessed in meaningful ways. 

EMDR: Who is it For? 

EMDR was primarily used for Vietnam veterans with PTSD with very high success rates, and continues to be an extremely effective intervention for survivors of one-time traumatic events. Its use has been expanded beyond PTSD to issues of OCD, grief, and addiction. EMDR works best when there is a pervasive, irrational negative belief present, usually tied to a specific event or memory. Here are some examples of trauma responses:

·      Inability to concentrate

·      Intrusive thoughts

·      Nightmares

·      Tightness in chest or difficulty controlling breath

·      Mood swings or crying spells

·      Inability to retell a story without breaking down

·      Trouble with falling asleep or staying asleep 

·      Feeling “triggered” when reminded of an event. For example, driving a vehicle, a familiar face, walking down an alley, etc. 

 While EMDR can be effective for childhood abuse and negative experiences that happened over a span of years, the results will most likely be slower with more preparation required. However, this shouldn’t be a deterrent; healing is always worth the work.  

Success Stories

One of the reasons I’m so grateful for this tool is that so far, it’s been a success for every client I’ve worked with. With permission, allow me to share some real life examples with you. The first example involves a client who had a near-fatal accident while at work. A heavy piece of machinery malfunctioned, and he was the one in charge. While it was no fault of his, lives could have been lost and he found himself nearly unable to continue his duties due to overwhelming panic. After completing two EMDR sessions, he was able to identify and accept that he’d done everything he could and was still a competent, valuable employee and manager. 

Next is a survivor of sexual abuse. While she knew she’d done nothing wrong, she continued to internalize the childhood abuse in the form of low self-worth, choosing partners who continued to abuse and manipulate her. While our work together was significant, EMDR helped her very quickly shed the worthlessness she couldn’t previously shake. She is now married to a loving, supportive partner and began a foundation for abuse survivors. 

My last example is one of a client who was unable to drive without extreme anxiety due to a previous car accident. One EMDR session resolved her anxiety to the point that she was able to drive again without fear of a panic attack. The stories could go on, but my hope is that this information provides some clarity and insight into what is available to you if you see yourself in any of these examples. Don’t let fear or shame limit you any longer! The mental health therapists at our office offer counseling for a variety of issues including trauma using EMDR, depression, anxiety, grief, and couples counseling. We work with teens, adults, and couples. We also offer online counseling services which can be great for people with busy schedules or for people who live in parts of Pennsylvania with limited counseling options. You can check out our website to see the full list of counseling services that we offer. Or, Request An Appointment here.